You may have to deal with someone who is upset or angry when handling feedback.
How you react to them can affect what happens next.
Tips for helping someone who is angry or upset
Do
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show them that you want to help
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listen and give them the chance to 'let off steam'
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keep calm and professional - do not argue
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control your own anger, reactions and tone of voice
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relax your body - leave your arms by your side
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show empathy and acknowledge their feelings
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focus the conversation to the main issue
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identify what went wrong
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find solutions
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be clear about next steps
Don't
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do not ignore them
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do not take it personally - you do not know what else is going on
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do not be defensive, retaliate or contradict them
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do not put your hands on your hips
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do not speak in an unpleasant tone
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do not tolerate unreasonable behaviour
How to bring the conversation under control
There are things you can do to take control of or end a conversation with someone who is angry.
You can:
- lower your voice
- stand up if you are sitting down
- make a statement in a calm tone
- repeat the statement a couple of times
Making an assertive statement
You can be assertive without being aggressive.
Stay calm and make a straightforward statement that expresses your wants, needs, opinions, beliefs or feelings.
It's OK to repeat yourself once or twice, if you need to. For example, if you are being ignored or want to emphasise a point.
How to handle unreasonable behaviour
Unreasonable behaviour includes:
- an aggressive or threatening tone
- abusive or inappropriate language
You do not have to tolerate unreasonable behaviour.
If someone is behaving like this or you feel unsafe:
- Say you understand they're upset and want to help.
- Explain that it is difficult for you to find a solution to the issue when they are being aggressive or using inappropriate or abusive language.
- Say that you will need to end the conversation if they do not stop.
- If they do not stop, state clearly that you cannot talk until they calm down.
- Walk away to end the conversation.
- Report their behaviour to your line manager or the authorities, if appropriate.
Mind your wellbeing
You may find it hard to cope with handling complaints and negative feedback.
There are supports to help you.
These include:
- how to handle a difficult situation
- the advisory service run by occupational health
- free counselling through the Employee Assistance Programme
- training modules on HSeLanD
- HSE Minding Your Wellbeing programme videos
Talk to the people you work with or your line manager. Ask them for advice, you may learn from their experiences.